“I’m sorry you had to go through that”
This is the response I’ve been getting from many lately that read my story. Yes. I was depressed. Yes, it sucked. Yes, I tried to commit suicide. Yes, I was pretty dark before I got better.
But I’m not sorry. Before my addiction and depression I was a mom and a wife and a daughter and a friend and a sister and all the labels that one has that I thought made me. I lived my life letting life happen to me. I got up and I followed the rules of society doing all those things that a mom, wife, daughter, etc. is supposed to do. I existed. Life happened to me.
Since the moment I started really trying to heal, I started working on me, on my spiritual life, on my soul. I started trying to fill my life and be better from the inside out. I woke up to purpose. First, I took inventory of the things I felt made me. I made a list. I began getting rid of the things I didn’t like about me. I began fixing the things I could. I try to leave every person I come into contact with feeling a little better than before.
I have purpose. I live with intent. Each day I wake up with a renewed intention of being awesome. (and funny – I really am funny) Prior to my breakdown, life happened to me and I responded to life. Now, I happen to life, it responds to me.
Oh, yeah. I almost forgot. I’m happy. So, while I appreciate the sentiment, I’m glad that I had to go through that. I found me.