“I’m sorry you had to go through that”

“I’m sorry you had to go through that”

This is the response I’ve been getting from many lately that read my story.  Yes.  I was depressed.  Yes, it sucked.  Yes, I tried to commit suicide.  Yes,  I was pretty dark before I got better.

 

But I’m not sorry.  Before my addiction and depression I was a mom and a wife and a daughter and a friend and a sister and all the labels that one has that I thought made me.  I lived my life letting life happen to me.  I got up and I followed the rules of society doing all those things that a mom, wife, daughter, etc. is supposed to do.  I existed.  Life happened to me.

 

Since the moment I started really trying to heal, I started working on me,  on my spiritual life, on my soul.  I started trying to fill my life and be better from the inside out.  I woke up to purpose.  First, I took inventory of the things I felt made me.  I made a list.  I began getting rid of the things I didn’t like about me.  I began fixing the things I could.  I try to leave every person I come into contact with feeling a little better than before.

I have purpose.  I live with intent.  Each day I wake up with a renewed intention of being awesome.  (and funny – I really am funny)  Prior to my breakdown, life happened to me and I responded to life.  Now, I happen to life, it responds to me.

Oh, yeah.  I almost forgot.  I’m happy.   So, while I appreciate the sentiment, I’m glad that I had to go through that.  I found me.

 

4 thoughts on ““I’m sorry you had to go through that””

  1. Amen!! Love, love, love this post. Our past and how we react to it is what has made us who we are now. Even the bad and ugly things can serve a purpose to get us to a more fulfilled and happy life. I love your attitude and your take on this. Keep going and keep sharing. You are taking responsibility for your life and inspiring others at the same time. So glad I found your blog.

    Liked by 2 people

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