So, I have always been fairly private. If you look at my FB account you would say, but we know when you’re on vacation, we know your kid made honor roll, etc. I don’t share my problems with the world. I never shared them with anyone. I had this friend that if you were in the room with her, you knew her life story, the good, the bad and the ugly. With me, I never saw the point in showing the ugly or the bad.
When I started my journey in recovery, at the beginning I really didn’t tell anyone I was going to meetings. This was my ordeal and mine to fix. My family knew. (honestly my family was making me go) I didn’t speak at a meeting for a month. Never introduced myself. As soon as the meetings were over I bolted. The first time I said,”my name is Bobbie and I’m an alcoholic” my voice cracked.
All of this is to say, being open about my alcoholism isn’t easy for me. Last night, someone in a recovery/writing group shared a post about me and my works and my recovery on FB. My heart was pounding. I was literally shaking, knowing that my recovery (which subsequently means my alcoholism) was being announced to the world. I thought I could throw up. I wanted this. I want people to know we recover. I want them to know there is a better life. It’s just a lot easier with strangers behind a keyboard in an anonymous forum.
So, here I am. Flaws and all. MY NAME IS BOBBIE AND I’M AN ALCOHOLIC.