Sometimes I love Facebook memories. They pop up, I’m like, oh yeah. That was cool. But this weekend the memory was me congratulating my daughter for her senior night at school. It was a celebration of the senior cheerleaders. I showed up with her bow she forgot, flowers in hand to walk her in, and drunk. She knew. I stayed and watched her cheer. Went home. Cried the entire way. I was such a terrible mom to her that year. She was so disappointed in me. I’m crying now. I actually called her and apologized. That girl gets more apologies than she knows how to handle.
I have to own it. I can’t pretend I never got that bad. I did. I sometimes feel my face get red while I type this stuff out. I’d like to keep it buried in some vault and act like this new me is who I’ve always been. I suspect that type of action would get me drinking again though. So here I sit, owning it. One embarrassing memory at a time. Ugh.
<b.To look on the bright side, I'd like to point out that at least you were there for her. You showed up for her important day.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I have so many mistakes that I made when I’d been drinking. I’m only just starting my sober journey but on some days can’t shake off the voice in my head that reminds me of the awful things I did. Praying it will get better ♡
LikeLiked by 1 person
It gets so much better. Thank God for second (and third and fourth…) chances.
LikeLike
Own that shit! It’s hard, I know. It gets easier. We have similar writing styles. I feel like you are writing as if you are having a face to face or phone conversation. Love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person