Sober Vacation

We just went on our first cruise and what was probably the first time I didn’t drink on a vacation.  I had pretty mixed feelings at first, while I was watching everyone drink like it was nothing.  For me, drinking was never nothing.  My friend was there and had a drink that she didn’t finish.  Twice!  To me, she looked like a super hero.  She just didn’t want it. I can’t even comprehend that.

Mixed up.  At first, I felt like maybe I was missing out.  Like, my vacation wasn’t really a vacation because we weren’t drinking.  Weird how you feel like you have grown so much and that those thoughts won’t invade your brain anymore, yet, there they are.  I was actually jealous of those that were drinking.  Felt like they belonged to a club and I wasn’t invited.

Then, I looked at everyone that was drinking as if they all were a bunch of drunks.  Projecting much? Here I was, all sober and awesome and they couldn’t even have a good time without drinking.  I watched people and I judged stumbles.  Felt like I belonged to a club and they weren’t invited.

Then, I just had a great time.  So weird.  I had to get comfortable again.  But I did.  I got settled and had a fantastic time.  My husband and I didn’t get into any fights.  I don’t have any missing time.  I don’t have any moments that make my face turn red.  I climbed a rock wall and fell and it was awesome.  I eventually just forgot about the alcohol.  But for a minute, just like when I was drinking, it took up all the space in my head.

1 thought on “Sober Vacation”

  1. Love ya Bobbie! You are one of the strongest people I know! As you know I have never been a big drinker and yes I don’t usually finish a drink. It does nothing for me! I am super proud of you! ❤

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