Late in my life I became really depressed. I was drinking a lot. I don’t know what occurred first, the alcoholism or the depression. I just knew I came to a point that they both had to be dealt with. I didn’t deal with either though. So, being that they are both progressive, they both continued to get worse.
October 23, 2015 I couldn’t stand myself. I couldn’t stand the fact that my family was done with me. I couldn’t stand the fact that I would walk in circles before I could walk out my door. I skipped work that day. I swallowed a bottle of pills. It’s really weird. I remember the thoughts going into the act. I just thought, if I could go to sleep and never wake up everyone would be better. Then the thoughts after the act, “oh no, what if my daughter gets home before my husband.” I started freaking out because I didn’t want her to find me. So, I called my husband, asked him when he was getting home. He could hear it in my voice, I guess the pills were already taking affect. He called an ambulance and I ended up in the psych ward for a while. Things started changing for me after that day.