Trying to muddle my way through this blog reminds me of trying to muddle my way through each day depressed. I’d make some progress, hit a wall and go back to where things were comfortable. For me, I found comfort in a bottle. Bottle of beer, then wine, then vodka. Started innocent enough. A beer or two in the evenings while making dinner, doing laundry. Then it was a glass or two of wine. This lasted for a few years. I was a stay at home mom. I had hit the 40 mark and I was depressed for the first time in my life. That’s not to say I hadn’t been sad before. This was a brand new ballgame for me. As I work through my 12 steps in order to stay sober and lead a productive life, I have taken a good look at where my addictions began. I guess around 14.