Trying to muddle my way through this blog reminds me of trying to muddle my way through each day depressed.  I’d make some progress, hit a wall and go back to where things were comfortable.  For me, I found comfort in a bottle.  Bottle of beer, then wine, then vodka.  Started innocent enough.  A beer or two in the evenings while making dinner, doing laundry.  Then it was a glass or two of wine.  This lasted for a few years.  I was a stay at home mom.  I had hit the 40 mark and I was depressed for the first time in my life. That’s not to say I hadn’t been sad before.  This was a brand new ballgame for me.  As I work through my 12 steps in order to stay sober and lead a productive life, I have taken a good look at where my addictions began.  I guess around 14.